The Long Road

11/06/2003 Archived Entry: "As an exercise"

It has been conveyed to my consideration that one member of my groups is a unbearably horrendous writer. Residing in an abode filled with snobby, above-par writers it is unproblematic, indeed even elating and heart-warming, to ridicule such poor, flowery writing where all content is immersed under an immeasurable onslaught of impenetrable prose. If brevity is truly the soul of wit then this particular individual is about as witty as a retarded ox.

Though I may make many valiant efforts throughout my existence, I would never be able to conjure up golden phrases such as these:

“Our discourse for our Entrepreneurship project began with great expectations, motivation, and interpersonal synthesis to conjure up a tangible and lucrative idea.”

“Consequently, a pragmatic technique followed suit and now we were able to bring forth an innovation—this new invention—to the “void.” Time was not an issue, as brainstorming lead to interaction and enlightened participation.”

To even come close to his style, as I am faithfully attempting here, I have had to use the Thesaurus for approximately each and every word. It is not inconceivable to me that I am capable of rewriting the entire 851-word dissertation into two or three paragraphs. For more wonderful and fantastic examples of this prose contact me for the text in its complete and unadulterated beauty!

Replies: 6 comments

Send it my way!

Posted by Hyperion @ 11/06/2003 09:33 PM EST

Wow. That was great. I feel better about all the essay's and papers I've written. :)

Posted by Andrea @ 11/07/2003 02:15 AM EST

been there, done that ...

at least you're not editing a paper that says "canada exports $560 million of goods to new zealand every year. new zealand imports $250 million goods from canada every year." ... and so on ... have fun concising it up, hehehe

Posted by melpie @ 11/07/2003 09:33 PM EST

Hey Thai! Are you saying you know who is an Ox? That would explain sooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

Unfortunately, I have neither the time nor skill to utilize the thesaurus to its maximum capacity.
But here's a quote that I will live by in an effort to not produce offspring similar to person forementioned:

If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.

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