11/16/2003 Archived Entry: "Guest Column #3"

Here is Amy with this week's guest column! It fits in very nicely with what I wrote on Friday.

For those interested in posting something, email me and i'll put it up next Sunday.

read

Being a Math Girl
By: Amy Malick

It’s a typical Wednesday night at the bomber. Where everybody knows your name. And you’re always glad you came…
I see some friends, some familiar faces, some “bomber bombshells”… inevitably some guy usually stumbles his way over to me and after the initial awkward pick-up line, the small talk starts…so what program are you in?

It’s then I make my move: I’m in Math. It hits them like a fist, partly because I think they get a little intimidated but mostly because I don’t fit the stereotype of what they envision a typical math girl to be. Most math girls don’t fit that stereotype.

“You don’t look like you are in math.” And I’m supposed to take that as a compliment? What the? Math girls get such a bad rap!

Hmmm… the stereotype of a math girl: She usually wears glasses. She hides behind her hair or the ton of books that she carries everywhere. It is essential that her pants are hiked up to say….about here….yup that’s good. Facial hair is of course optional. Make-up? What is make-up? Math girls generally have nothing interesting to say unless you are an avid trekkie and she often snorts when she laughs.

Okay, I’m kidding, …but some people actually think this.

In class, my male friends play this game. They all have their pick for the day: the hottest female to grace them with her presence in the testosterone-filled room. It’s supposed to be a challenge because it’s like finding a needle in a haystack. Occasionally, one person vetoes another’s pick by yelling at them to “Take off your math goggles!”

Math goggles are like beer goggles. Too many drinks can make anyone look attractive. You get sloppy, less choosy. Well, apparently, too many hours in the math building or computer labs has the same effect.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But I am here today to let you in on a little secret: Math girl = Goddess. And explain to you the reasons why:

Girls – you’ll want to immediately run out and change faculties.
And Guys – why you’ll want to date us!

Okay Picture this: you are surrounded by men 24 hours a day. In class, you are outnumbered 7 to 1. For those who can’t do the math….that’s really good odds.
And these boys…they gawk. Maybe it’s because they’ve been staring at numbers all day long …but

You don’t even have to try. You can show up in your pyjamas and have forgotten to brush your hair, but, you have breasts and therefore you are a candidate for their pedestal of admiration.

That’s not to say we don’t try… I gotta look my best for all the hotties in this speech class…and I’m in math/bus so every other class I get to be surrounded by a different breed: those Laurier boys.

Math girls can also communicate in many different languages. I personally know 5: English, Basic, C++, Java, COBOL. And sometimes, late at night. I like to send encrypted code to my fellow mathies significant other. Hmmmm, the computer doesn’t really give a lot of love back…..
But C’MON guys, geek love…don’t you want to be a part of that? Two lovebirds..with their laptops up…sitting in the SLC facing each other.
You might think they are playing battleship but NO! They’re flirting via wireless messaging…isn’t it just so romantic?

Another reason why Math girl = Goddess is because we understand it all. We use the right side of our brain. We are all about reason and logic. We know that:

Drunk + one night stand != a phone call the next day

We know that

The question “What’s wrong” + the answer “nothing” = bad idea

Female mathies are also great to bring as a date to a party. We do a lot of cool party tricks. For example, we can calculate the probability that you’ll die today, figure out how much Julie (who we met in Josh’s speech) is going to make from her RRSPs…and if you’re really really lucky. We can do calculator tricks…if you type in 55318008 and turn it upside down…it says “boobless”

We also have an air of mystery.
Mainly because what to you do with a math degree? I’ve been trying to figure it out.
All I got so far is I’m going to be in finance and I’m going to make a lot of money. So guys, Math Girl = Sugar Mama. Better land one now before it’s too late.

So basically you know have to options: you can continue to buy into the typical stereotype of a math girl…but hopefully after hearing the reasons today why a math girl is cool… the next time you are talking to one, you’ll remember that she is a goddess and bow down and give her the respect she deserves. You can even practice today: With Steph or Suzie.

You might think you’ve covered all the angles but math girls have all the curves!

Replies: 11 comments

There will be no bowing from me...I'm not convinced...:P!!

I don't know any gals in math anyway...

Posted by dAN @ 11/16/2003 07:12 PM EST

you do raise many good points ... but ... my question is ... do you want to be ogled by math boys all day long? the thought of it would kind of scare me

p.s. what do you mean by those laurier boys are a different breed ... hehehe ... the fact that they all look like they walked out of an american eagle ad? or somethign else?

Posted by melpie @ 11/17/2003 11:14 AM EST

Melpie: see yesterday's entry =P

Posted by Rayne @ 11/17/2003 02:50 PM EST

haha, I LOVE this line:
"Drunk + one night stand != a phone call the next day"

Posted by Dave @ 11/17/2003 04:35 PM EST

The girls that were in my Honours Calc weren't Goddesses........... i'd say far from it =P. And for some reason there was a skank girl in there........ it still boggles my mind.

Posted by Anonymous @ 11/17/2003 06:08 PM EST

alright. my first thought as i was reading this was that i wanted to strangle amy. as i continued to read it, i continued to want to strangle her. when asked about it afterwards, i couldn't quite put my finger on why, but i'll try to now. with what you actually said in front of me, it might be easier to pick out things that gave me that "strangling" urge :)

okay, this right here: math girl = goddess. somehow... no. i don't see that. sure, you're smart. with numbers. and you're a girl. that's all i'm seeing. i don't see no goddess as of yet.

being proud that you're outnumbered 7:1 in classes. now this goes into steretyping again, but is being around that many cs guys really that enjoyable? or worthwhile?

anyone that includes programming languages in with spoken languages when counting the number of languages they know... *shakes his head* bad joke. just like most other math jokes.

flirting via wireless messaging is romantic? since when? sappy and lame, yes, i can see that. not romantic (sorry, bad experience with stuff like that, not doing it again)

also, “what’s wrong” + the answer “nothing” != bad idea for all girls, i don't care if you think you use logic or the right side of your brain or whatever. girls are girls. and they're all the DEVIL.

as for cool party tricks, anything done at a party really isn't that cool if it involves stuff you've learned in school. oh look! i'm applying this mortality rate statistics stuff! ooo, how fun is that? BLAH!

"you might think you’ve covered all the angles but math girls have all the curves!" another bad math joke :P

the main thing i didn't like was you tried to make it sound like girls in math are better than girls from other programs. that was probably the point you were trying to get across, but i can't accept it. sorry. i like to think that i wouldn't judge someone based on what program they're in. i recognize that the stereotypes are there, but i don't judge people based on them. now judging myself against them, that's another matter :)

dating a math girl is the same as dating an arts girl is the same as dating a science girl is the same as dating an engineering girl is the same as dating someone who doesn't have a program. it shouldn't matter.

that being said, i'm a single cs guy, and i'd be interested in seeing these supposed goddess-like qualities of math girls ;)

Posted by shawnathan @ 11/17/2003 11:08 PM EST

"In class, you are outnumbered 7 to 1." It's about the same ratio in all my first aid classes...except we get to do "Rapid Body Surveys" all day long! ;)

Posted by Andrea @ 11/18/2003 02:30 AM EST

To that shawnathan guy.

I think it was meant to be a joke. Ever heard of sarcasm? Satire?

Posted by Carlyle @ 11/18/2003 07:50 PM EST

Sarcasm doesn't convey well over the internet, thus it should not be used =P

Posted by Anonymous @ 11/19/2003 04:03 PM EST

Sarcasm is a bit harder to convey over the internet but I thought this little thing was clearly very tongue-in-cheek.

Posted by Rayne @ 11/19/2003 04:40 PM EST

Sarcasm can easily be used on the internet using the "sarcasm" tag line.

ie: That was a thoughtful and interesting comment... please... continue...

And in terms of University girls, they're all fine to me. Even the math ones! :D

Posted by Metatron @ 11/21/2003 11:03 AM EST