The Long Road

08/03/2005 Archived Entry: "The Perfect Woman"

(because Kim asked me)

• Smart. Always a priority, the smarter the better.


• Open Minded. Not just willing to try new things but always actively looking for new things to try.


• Sophisticated. Good taste in clothes, food, movies, etc.


• Fit. In good shape, athletic. Fat where there should be fat and none where there isn't supposed to be any.


• Feminine. But not girly. Hard to qualify but I know what I mean.


• Emotionally solid. I'm a rock, but I don't particularly enjoy being leaned on.


• Interests. Gotta have at least 1 non-work-related interest. Doesn't matter what it is. Interested = interesting.

Bonus Points:

• Green eyes.Drool...

Is that a generic list? I can't really picture someone listing things like

• Close-Minded: I don't like it when they try new things. Every dinner's gotta be like what we had at home growing up.

Although I think most people would list something really generic like "sense of humour", "good looking". Shouldn't those be givens? "yeah, I like 'em to be serious 100% of the time. And they gotta be ugly, I love it when I have to double bag that shit"

Replies: 14 comments

"Double bag that shit" WOW lol....

I don't think I've ever spat out cheerio's that far out of my mouth after reading that.

Posted by Dave @ 08/03/2005 05:16 PM EST

Better make sure she isn't smarter than you at least, cause if she is, you'll end up like a dog on a leash.

Posted by Zathura @ 08/03/2005 05:49 PM EST

Ah Zathura. How young and naive you are! If they're smarter, just act like an asshole and you'll win.

Posted by Rayne @ 08/03/2005 06:28 PM EST

Has always been a woman. I think that would be a priority. Then again, maybe YOU are open minded Thai.

Posted by Doug @ 08/03/2005 07:03 PM EST

Ahh Thai, you tried and failed. When they're smarter than you it's best to put up a bit of a fight but usually give in because usually, if they're all that smart, girls realize that we're better off with a good vibrator, a pet, and some written and visual porn.

Posted by Kathleen @ 08/04/2005 12:02 AM EST

kathleen, are you saying that a smart girl would opt for those substitutes if the guy was not as smart as her? or that a smart girl would just opt for those things when the alternative is thai?

it's ok for one person to be smarter than the other (it's rather unlikely two ppl would be of the exact same intelligence) - just along as one's not smarter in EVERYTHING than the other.

Posted by melpie @ 08/04/2005 05:12 PM EST

o.O

......

!!!!

Posted by Rayne @ 08/06/2005 04:04 AM EST

to confirm at least a part of what kathleen wrote, all the genius girls i know really do have pets (esp. golden retrievers, it seems) which they cherish a lot more than us, mere male humans.

as for intelligence difference, i believe it has a lot to do with personality. usually, if the (slightly) dominant dominant type is also the (slightly) smartest, it's fine.

Posted by Étienne @ 08/07/2005 01:30 AM EST

Aw, poor Thai... you had to know you were walking into a firepit on this one.

Étienne had it close. Male companionship is good, sometimes even makes the world a better place to be in, however, the 4 options I listed tend to be a much safer bet than some of the aptly named "Assholes" of the world. The smart ones will eventually put their foot down on the bullshit inherent with this type, and find the options I listed as a decent replacement until a good guy comes around (and on occasion, a good supplimentary).

So I guess what the bottomline is, if you find a good girl out there, be reliable and available (like the porn), trustworthy (like the vibrator) and adore her (like the pet), and you should be set for a good long time.

(And the intelligence issue wasn't supposed to be a comparative thing, just don't act like a moronic jackass. It's just been my experience that more intelligant girls like somebody to debate a little with.)

... and that's my mini-rant

Posted by Kathleen @ 08/07/2005 08:56 PM EST

wow I agree. Double bag that shit? Geez no wonder you're single

Posted by neoceia @ 08/08/2005 04:32 AM EST

There aren't many good guys out there Kathleen, but I honestly hope you don't have to resort to the alternatives you listed for the rest of your life...

Posted by dAN @ 08/08/2005 10:46 AM EST

*laugh* thanks for your concern dAN, but I haven't gotten that desperate yet.... I can't afford to keep a pet!

><

just kidding....

Posted by Kathleen @ 08/08/2005 11:55 PM EST

but I'm only recently single!!

Posted by Rayne @ 08/09/2005 12:51 AM EST

Thai!

You are hilarious! I can picture you saying all of that! I'm still laughing!

Katie

Posted by Katie @ 09/05/2005 04:31 PM EST