03/09/2006 Archived Entry: "Que Le Phoque?"
So our annual seal hunt seems to be always causing quite a stir. The McCartney’s are getting into it too this time, to the point where the Premiere of Newfoundland offered to have them come over and showing them what it’s all about. But really, the protesters have already won. Those little phoques are phoquing cute! All the activists really have to do is plaster pictures of these phoques everywhere and it’d be all over. This is why activists don’t activate against the millions of ugly, ugly salmon we kill. Really, salmon is an ugly beast, at least until you slice it into orangy-pink little rectangles placed on top of a piece of rice and then it becomes absolutely beautiful.
But I digress.
I think the Premiere had the right idea. As an officially registered image consultant, I propose that the best way to convince activists is to have them all over and show them that the seals are being killed humanely and not a scrap of their bodies gone to waste. An event should be made of the seal hunt; a larger event than it already is, that is. A sort of cultural event, maybe even a festival. The Annual Seal Hunt Festival. Or, for us bilinguals: Le Festival Annuel de la Chase aux Phoques.
They could have stuffed seals to sell, seal fur wear, seal bone knick knacks from locals, a seal cookout with freshly hunted seal thrown on the grill, recipes far and wide, a delectable assortment of seal to try out! Best of all, for a small fee, they could take tourists out to hunt their own seal! What an adventure that would be! A Phoqu'ing good time, I'd say!
Replies: 13 comments
I don't know whether to puke or laugh...poor seals. :(
You really like the word "phoque" don't you :P
Posted by Gosia @ 03/10/2006 09:38 AM EST
Seals have been hunted in Newfie-land since 1780...its vital to their province and practiced in a humane fashion. Stop giving Greenpeace money, it only fuels their propaganda. Besides, were they not hunted, they would over-populate and simply die SLOWLY from starvation.
Posted by dAN @ 03/10/2006 10:14 AM EST
We need a group of activists against activists!
Posted by dAN @ 03/10/2006 10:17 AM EST
this post wouldn't be anywhere near as good without "phoque". In fact, I'm sure it'd be downright boring.
dAN: the solution is to repopulate the fish that seals eat
Posted by Rayne @ 03/10/2006 12:50 PM EST
Thai...you don't really see "repopulating the fish that seals eat" as a solution, do you? Please say no...
Posted by dAN @ 03/10/2006 02:22 PM EST
I have an uncle seal hunter.
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Posted by W2ddhB0Rix @ 03/11/2006 12:57 AM EST
Hey Rayne, I want to spew some hot manjuice in your face while you lay down like a baby seal in the bathtub. Then I can come in with my cok ring and jack off wearing a mccarthey orange jumpsuit and singing 'imagine' by john lennon. Then after that I can club you to death and eat your juicy thighmeat eskimo style - raw and fresh.
Posted by Roberto Ibale @ 03/15/2006 03:38 AM EST
Roberto...you actually need something bigger than your excuse for a cock to wear a ring. I'm sorry McCartney's mouth didn't work well for penis enlargement.
Posted by dAN @ 03/15/2006 03:00 PM EST
I'm gonna give you a FRONT KICK to your ballz DAN. I am a 5th degree black belt so you better watch out whiteboy before I string you up like the snowflake you are.
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