The Long Road

12/15/2006 Archived Entry: "Why"

1. Why must melissa always hug me using the male emoticon? This one: "({)". It's so unfair of her because then I have to hug her back with the female hug emoticon. It's very emasculating. And really, we're not functioning at optimal efficiency when she uses the White Male emoticon and I use the Black Female emoticon. No matter which one she uses, she's half right, but our total correctness output is only 25% if she uses the white male while it would double to 50% if she were to use the black female. Frankly, as an economist, she should have an apreciation for optimal system performance. That is unless she somehow values being white a lot more than she values being female...

2. Why is it that Phil always finds an excuse to show off his "big guns" on his blog and I haven't? This ends here. Of course I'm not as huge as he is, but we all know agility-based heroes are the ones who do real damage late game anyways. Strength based characters are only there to draw attention to themselves.

3. Why are all my conversations with "Inu Yasha" always so ridiculously funny? Does he live in some kind of bubblegum-pop world where all his conversations are filled with the same kind of senseless humour, or do we have a special combination of sick minds? We'll never know. A recent, and representative, example:

Inu Yasha: yo this girl just asked me out
Inu Yasha: on msn
Inu Yasha: and i turned her down
Inu Yasha: and shes freaking out
Long: was it MT?
Inu Yasha: and i need to study
Inu Yasha: no this girl here
Inu Yasha: what do i do?
Inu Yasha: block+delete? lol
Long: why'd you say no?
Inu Yasha: cuz i have standards
Inu Yasha: and while she excels in most
Inu Yasha: she fails miserably in the looks department
Inu Yasha: and im a shallow shallow guy
Inu Yasha: LOL
Long: what does she look like?
Inu Yasha: sec
Long: ask her for a picture
Inu Yasha: i have her pics
Long: and send it back
Inu Yasha: from facebook hold on
Long: and be like "would you date this shit?!"
Inu Yasha: LOL!
Inu Yasha: LOL
Inu Yasha: LOL!!!
Inu Yasha: *sends link*
Long: haha, wt..you just dont want her cuz she's fob
Inu Yasha: standards.
Long: send her to your fob post
Inu Yasha: hahahahahaha
Inu Yasha: oh baby
Inu Yasha: so mean
Inu Yasha: so mean..
Long: or like..photoshop a butt onto her face
Long: and send it back
Inu Yasha: hahahahaha
Inu Yasha: man ur so pro
Inu Yasha: at these things LOL
Long: i've been on GAF a LOOONG time
Inu Yasha: hahahahah
Inu Yasha: i dont even feel bad
Inu Yasha: rejecting her
Inu Yasha: does this make me a bad person?
Inu Yasha: like shes just a friend
Inu Yasha: same classes and we studied together
Inu Yasha: but i never thought she liked me wtf
Long: terrible
Long: yo guy, she looks like she'd be a freak in bed
Inu Yasha: LOL
Long: say yes, surprise her with the shocker, she'll never speak to you again
Inu Yasha: disgusting!!!!
Inu Yasha: LOL
Long: exactly
Inu Yasha: "ill go out with you only if you bleach your asshole"
Inu Yasha: then i dont go out with her
Inu Yasha: "i bleached my asshole for you!!!"
Long: "ew, why would i go out with yoU? you have a bleached asshole!"
Inu Yasha: hahahahahahhahahaha

4. Why?

Replies: 24 comments

posting in a legendary blogpost.

Posted by Dave @ 12/15/2006 08:32 PM EST

Dave lied about how the story went down. Plz force him to tell you the truth because it's a lot more embarassing.

Posted by Neil @ 12/15/2006 08:48 PM EST

1. because she's the one who wears the pants, man

2. maybe he's developing his upper body because he's compensating for something in the lower body....

3. that's comforting

4. because we're all insignificant so it doesn't bloody matter anyway

Posted by Arshwana @ 12/16/2006 10:11 AM EST

Your answer to all your conundrums.

FHUTA

Posted by djkimothy @ 12/16/2006 06:19 PM EST

FYUTA... see how ya like it.

Posted by Arshwana @ 12/17/2006 01:38 PM EST

Kim LOVES it...or so I've heard.

Posted by Long @ 12/17/2006 10:23 PM EST

ha! i wear the pants! i knew it!

Posted by melpie @ 12/18/2006 01:18 AM EST

Well, if you don't know if you're wearing pants or not, then not even I can help you.

Posted by Long @ 12/18/2006 07:03 PM EST

the metaphorical pants - if i wore real pants all the time, i wouldn't get to wear the cute skirts.

Posted by melpie @ 12/18/2006 11:54 PM EST

and we DO love the cute skirts, yes....

Posted by Long @ 12/19/2006 12:13 AM EST

Skirts? Those things they put on cars to soup them up? (How does one spell that, anyway?)

I should probably wear skirts, I think I've got the legs for them.. I just don't.

Posted by Arshwana @ 12/19/2006 11:02 PM EST

Sure, an attractive girl wearing a skirt next to a car will "soup" it up...;).

Posted by dAN @ 12/21/2006 10:32 AM EST

Did you FHUTA yet Thai?

Posted by djkimothy @ 12/21/2006 10:11 PM EST

Thai hasn't got a H to FUTA.

Posted by Arshwana @ 12/27/2006 12:54 AM EST

=(

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