[Previous entry: "T'was the night before..."] [Main Index] [Next entry: "Because you demanded it..."]

12/28/2006 Archived Entry: "Bastards"

Tomb Raider Legend: The best installment in the franchise this generation, revitalizing both the character and game series after a few abismal attempts and a couple of very bad movies.

Replay Value: Dozens of unlockable secrets, costumes, power ups, etc.

Fan Service: Having two costumes being nothing more than bikinis.

Masochists: Making the two bikinis the LAST items you can unlock after completing the game, beating time trials, finding all secret rooms, statues, etc.

Assholes: Allowing the bikini to only be used inside Lara Croft's house and not in any of the actual levels.

Long: downloads a saved game so he can have all the rewards with none of the usual effort.

Replies: 19 comments

Dave: heads to Long's to watch.

Posted by Dave @ 12/28/2006 08:55 PM EST


Bikinis or not, it's still Tomb Raider.

Posted by djkimothy @ 12/29/2006 08:42 AM EST


Tomb Raider or not, it's still pixelated...i.e. FAKE!

Posted by dAN @ 12/29/2006 11:36 PM EST


it's fake, like the rest of the entertainment industry

Posted by djkimothy @ 12/30/2006 08:51 PM EST


yeah, she's just an abstraction of a real person, much like most actors, musicians, Zamir, and Hot Pants.

Posted by Long @ 12/31/2006 02:24 AM EST


also, modern gamers don't have to put up with pixelation unless they own wiis.

Posted by Long @ 12/31/2006 02:26 AM EST


I hope Barbie dolls don't fall into your abstraction of a real person...

Posted by dAN @ 01/01/2007 10:38 PM EST


Wow. I sort of expected her boobs to be...larger.

My jaw had quite a drop to the ground the first time I saw Lara in the original Tomb Raider. I never understand why the creators felt the need to supersize them to unrealistic proportions.

Posted by Phil @ 01/02/2007 01:59 AM EST


http://membres.lycos.fr/kusikult/Fiche/Attentes/DOAX.jpg

[~nsfw?]

Posted by Dave @ 01/02/2007 01:19 PM EST


Yes, something like that Dave.

I always found it funyn because asian women generally have the smallest bust size.

Posted by Phil @ 01/02/2007 08:06 PM EST


I guess Asian men have to compensate somewhere, so...

Posted by Gosia. @ 01/02/2007 10:39 PM EST


Yep, our massive brains.

Posted by Dave @ 01/03/2007 12:59 PM EST


A brain so massive Dave, that you thought Japan is an island as a result of the bombings during World War 2...;)!

Posted by dAN @ 01/03/2007 02:18 PM EST


Ridiculous.

Lara Croft was developped by a british company. She also sold about 10 times more copies in the U.S. than in Japan. Same with DOA Volleyball.

American and western entertainment are just as guilty of presenting us with idealized figures...our heroes have larger than life adventures, so they need larger than life bodies to handle them!

Besides, videogames are a male dominated hobby.

Posted by Long @ 01/03/2007 05:14 PM EST


> American and western entertainment
> are just as guilty of presenting us
> with idealized figures...our heroes
> have larger than life adventures,
> so they need larger than life
> bodies to handle them!

Sure. That makes sense. Big muscles are needed for big action movie.

Now explain how big boobs are needed for big action movie.

Other than as perhaps natural floatation devices, does Lara's big boobs actually serve any practical purpose?

Posted by Phil @ 01/05/2007 11:30 PM EST


boobies = revenue
revenue = money
money = happiness

.: boobies == happiness

DUH, jeez phil :P

p.s. QED

Posted by Dave @ 01/06/2007 01:22 AM EST


they need to look good too! all heroes are good looking, who wants to play as a fat, ugly character? for wymins, this often means big boobs, i'm sure if you asked, the male characters probably have 10 inch cocks and can sleep with half a dozen women simultaneously for hours on end.

Posted by Long @ 01/06/2007 08:26 PM EST


Long, and what about Tom Cruise?

Posted by Phil @ 01/06/2007 08:52 PM EST


stop trying to find exceptions to these rules!

Posted by Long @ 01/07/2007 01:35 AM EST