I've been giving a lot of dating advice lately, Vishnu knows why anyone would come to me about this stuff, but its a fun to give advice and I do it freely and with great, swelling joy in my heart. Anyways, I thought it would be fun to collect some of it here.
Part 1. Managing Expectations.
Some of you are delusional. Having been fed a steady diet of teen dramas, soap operas, and Nora Roberts, you expect all of your relationships to be worthy of epic Homeric poems recited by James Van Derbeek with the latest melancholy pop song playing in the background. This is rarely the case in reality. Considering that an epic romance takes a few years of your time, most people will only experience a small number of them (maybe 2-3) in their lives, with one of them resulting in marriage!
You should never expect or aim for such. The only expectations you should have from being with a person is to get to know someone you find interesting and, more than anything, to have fun together. Long term relationships will flow naturally out of this. When the fun stops, that's when you have to consider your exit strategy.
Of course, managing your own expectations is the easy part, your partner's are more difficult. If your expectations of the relationship are incompatible, then one of you will eventually end up disappointed.
Next time: Cost/Benefit Analysis and the Exit Strategy. AKA "when to bail out"
Replies: 8 comments
Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms Obvious,
No offense, but anyone that believes the world works as presented in television is either 12 or will take no benefit from your post.
As for curbing expectations, it'll leave you empty handed.
Posted by dAN @ 07/04/2007 03:57 PM EST
I was exagerating a little (a lot). I just meant that some people take relationships a little too serious and dont realize that you can be with some just "for fun" sometimes.
Posted by Long @ 07/04/2007 04:22 PM EST
a james vanderbeek reference? man, you're aging yourself (as am i though, for recognizing and understanding the reference ...)
Posted by melpie @ 07/04/2007 09:35 PM EST
I believe the expression, dear melpie, is "dating yourself"
Posted by Long @ 07/05/2007 12:14 PM EST
why would i want to date myself? then i'd actually have to pay for my dinner ...
Posted by melpie @ 07/05/2007 07:06 PM EST
well...why would you want to make yourself older? you're getting up there in years already, no?
Posted by Long @ 07/05/2007 11:08 PM EST
That's it. I think you two should go out. Don't ask me why, this conclusion was made entirely at random.
Posted by dAN @ 07/06/2007 09:57 AM EST
i know, i know. the waitress at the bar the other night guessed that i was 28. i was going to cry. i've got a good almost 1.5 years till i hit that mark! *wipes away tear*
Posted by melpie @ 07/09/2007 11:56 PM EST