The Long Road

Mangoes, those delicious, exotic, juicy fruits. So good, so awesome. The only problem is when they're too ripe and the flesh can get stringy. Then they lose the clean biting texture that I love so much.

In the early parts of this decade, I underwent a dental procedure to tighten my teeth. This was extremely successful, and beyond having a beautiful smile, my bottom teeth are now tighter than the the clenched anus of a new inmate taking his first shower.

But still, sometimes things get caught. Like stringy mango, for example. In fact, stringy mango might be the only thing that ever gets caught in my teeth anymore. So as the story goes, I was eating this mango, and 1 stringy bit made its way between two of my bottom teeth. I was at work or something and couldn't do much in terms of dental maintenance. Everything from paper to push pins just couldn't do the trick. When I FINALLY got home, I ran upstairs to the bathroom to get out the floss. As Alanis would have it, the floss just shreds completely against my teeth and strings of it get caught in there along with the mango. WTF?

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.