The Long Road

Archives: June 2007

Friday, June 29, 2007

It was late Saturday. The last couple of days had been exhausting and the strain was beginning to show. Stephen was at the wheel, driving the silver Ion the 20 minutes it was going to take to get Steve's house. Steve was on the phone, engaged in a cute little argument with his wife over him not saying goodbye to her when we left. Jerome and I slouched in our backseats, alternating between resting our eyes and talking about the wedding. A road block appeared, we were getting detoured off the 401. For the next 5 minutes, we were directed by police cars through a series of smaller roads, and left wondering what had happened to the highway. It was surely either an accident or some late night road maintenance. As it turned out, the truth was much more compelling.

At the end of the detour, the Ion roared onto the on-ramp, ready to unleash its precisely engineered fury on the unsuspecting asphalt. Its aspirations of speed were cut short, as we were greeted with total chaos at the top of the ramp. All other vehicles were pullin over, half a dozen police cars were there trying to maintain order. Hundreds of people were getting out of their cars, looking in awe at the events before them. Spotlights flooded the area. We turned around to see what was happening.

A dozen giant machines were gathered in the middle of what could only be described as a crater. Their huge mechanical arms were reaching up and tearing away at the overpass. Half of it had been brought down already, debris was everywhere. It was like a scene right out of a disaster movie. I wanted to stop and watch, to take pictures to show my grandchildren, to say "I was there". Stephen had other ideas though. Oxygen was pumped in, fuel was injected, and gear 5 was engaged. Within seconds, the silverbolt from Saturn quickly rendered the disaster site a fading point on our horizon. Disappearing from view but not out of our memories. It was the most incredible thing I have seen since Hot Pants.

Posted by Long @ 10:10 AM EST [Link] [Karma: -3 (+/-)] [2 comments]

Friday, June 22, 2007

If there's one argument I would accept for the existence of god, it would be fruit. How else could one account for the wonderfully complete connection between the desires of my taste buds and the taste of fruits? It is a match, quite literally, made in Heaven.

I love the soft, smooth fruits; the ones with flesh that is easy to bite into and provide a non-challenging chewing experience. There is nothing quite like the divine pragmatism of the banana, the heavenly smell of durian, the godly butteryness of avocado, the spiritually awakening juiciness of a ripe mango, or the celestial texture of papaya. These fruit were made to be eaten, and I was made to eat them! Surely no cosmic coincidence could have had such a clearly intended result.

As Overkill once said, "I would be lost without fruit". We should all heed her advice; If you ever feel like you're lost in life, fruit will be your salvation.

Posted by Long @ 10:31 AM EST [Link] [Karma: -5 (+/-)] [10 comments]

Friday, June 15, 2007

Long:
i imagine these events can become quite...extravagant
Mel:
yes
we can't do extravagant stuff
Long:
that sucks
i like extravagant
Mel:
i do sometimes too
Long:
merely "vagant" just isnt good enough
Mel:
ah well
undervagant is even worse
Long:
god, how i hate the undervagant!
Mel:
makes me feel a little sick inside
Long:
the worst of all is the unvagant
Mel:
indeed
you want to be at leas ta little vagant
Long:
at least a blip on the scale of vagancy
Mel:
*nods*

Posted by Long @ 09:20 PM EST [Link] [Karma: 6 (+/-)] [1 Comment]

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

When I was young(er), I had this crazy scheme for determining the monetary value of things. It boiled down to not spending money faster than I can earn it. More specifically, if it takes less time to enjoy a product than it took to earn the money to afford it, then it's not worth it. For example, back in the minimum wage days, a 90 minute animated movie for 10$ would fail this test.

Funnily, my two biggest vices both fail this test. Comics and food. A single comic can cost up to 5$, and it can take as little as 5 minutes to read. That's a rate of 1$/minute on the low end, which is a ridiculous value proposition to my minimum wage self. But still, I used to, and continue to, buy them by the bushels. Pretty much the same thing for food, a 10$ sub at subway can be eaten in 15 minutes. That means I'd have to earn 40$/hr to not spend money faster than I earn it! Of course, this hard and fast rule does not take into account the fact that the sub will fuel me for the next 3 hours, or that the comic can be re-read and that it gives me enjoyment just from being around.

Some things of incredibly value include: internet access, DVD TV seasons, novels, university classes, your love.

Posted by Long @ 01:27 PM EST [Link] [Karma: 3 (+/-)] [6 comments]

Friday, June 1, 2007

I'm sure there's been a study on this somewhere, but I think it's interesting how spending patterns differ based on how frequently you're paid. The difference between getting paid monthly, bi-weekly, or weekly can be huge. From my experience, weekly paychecks lead to a steady stream of smaller expenditures, while monthly paychecks facilitate larger purchases.

Lets say, for the sake of simple arithmetics, that I get paid 2000$ a month. I can get that either in 500$ installments per week, 1000$ every two weeks, or a huge sum of 2000$ each month. If you were looking at a balance graph comparison betwen weekly and monthly payment schemes, the weekly graph would be a much smoother one, while the monthly one would fluctuate a lot every month.

In the first scenario, I've got a constant stream of (relatively) small amounts. This is probably good if I am constantly needing cash flow to pay bills, buy drugs, etc; but at the same time I don't have to watch my spending too closely because I know the next paycheck is just around the corner.

With a monthly payment, I get very large sums at a time. This gives an immediate feeling of wealth. There's nothing like a 2000$ injection into the chequing account to tempt me into buying big ticket items. That xbox 360 seems much more affordable right after a monthly paycheck than it does after getting 4 smaller paychecks, having spent some odd percentage of them, and trying to save up. With 1 monthly paycheck, it's like the saving up part was done for you! This leads to the problem that, while I would feel rich after getting paid, by the end of the month, I would wonder where all my money went off to.

So the point is that, I think, there is probably a case to be made for people earning lower income and those with higher incomes to get paid at different frequencies in an attempt to control their spending habits.

Posted by Long @ 03:12 PM EST [Link] [Karma: 16 (+/-)] [2 comments]

[Archive Index] [Main Index]