The Long Road

Archives: December 2007

Monday, December 31, 2007

Mangoes, those delicious, exotic, juicy fruits. So good, so awesome. The only problem is when they're too ripe and the flesh can get stringy. Then they lose the clean biting texture that I love so much.

In the early parts of this decade, I underwent a dental procedure to tighten my teeth. This was extremely successful, and beyond having a beautiful smile, my bottom teeth are now tighter than the the clenched anus of a new inmate taking his first shower.

But still, sometimes things get caught. Like stringy mango, for example. In fact, stringy mango might be the only thing that ever gets caught in my teeth anymore. So as the story goes, I was eating this mango, and 1 stringy bit made its way between two of my bottom teeth. I was at work or something and couldn't do much in terms of dental maintenance. Everything from paper to push pins just couldn't do the trick. When I FINALLY got home, I ran upstairs to the bathroom to get out the floss. As Alanis would have it, the floss just shreds completely against my teeth and strings of it get caught in there along with the mango. WTF?

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Posted by Long @ 11:22 AM EST [Link] [Karma: 7 (+/-)] [No Comments]

Thursday, December 27, 2007

So this guy comes in to the store to pick up his suit without his ticket. He gives me his name and phone number so I start by looking under his last name (where things are usually stored). I obviously can't find it as I'm scrolling through the D section a few times, so the guy says "you can't find it?!", I reply telling him that I'll look under his first name. So I go to the B's, and can't find it there and the guy gives me one of those insincere "don't worry if you can't find it" remarks. I scroll through the entire rack, trying to find it, and the nice man then tells me "oh, it's alright you can't find it, it's only a 300$ jacket". Not in the mood to take any attitude I tell him "you don't even have your ticket". At which point two of the other customers turn to him and are like "YEA! WTF! STFU!".

So eventually, I find the guy's jacket under the "B" section, because his R looks like a B and his name ends up looking like Bozzo. So he asks me to check if the hole in his jacket was fixed, So I have to take it out of the bag, check it, and rebag it while 2 other customers are waiting in line. At the end of all this work, he asks if he can come pick it up the next day. a;lksdf;lkasdjfl;k!!!!

The next day. Guy comes in again, I get his jacket before he even gets to the counter, tell him how much it is, he pays for it and then says as he's leaving "nice jacket eh? it cost 300$". Of course, I tell him yes, but really, it was the ugliest black and white pattern'd jacket I ever saw. And the brand? Tommy. Sure Tommy is a nice, expensive brand to brag about, WHEN YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

I think this guy has one "nice" thing in his closet, and that was it. He was so proud of it, that he needed the validation of some poor, modest dry cleaning store clerk.

Here's a question, are poorer people more likely to brag about expensive things they own while richer people are more likely about the great deals they got?

Posted by Long @ 12:27 AM EST [Link] [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [2 comments]

Monday, December 17, 2007

I'm offering a free lunch (25$ limit!) to whoever can track down the video (I'd even settle for an mp3) of the ST:TNG commercial that they used to air on CHRO. It was a series of quick cuts through clips of the first few seasons of the series to accompany the following lyrics set to Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire.

Jean Luc,
Geordi's Specs,
Mysteries on the Holodecks

Asteroids,
Triple Droids,
Telepathic Betazoids

Transporter
Deadly Claw
Visitor from LA Law

Photons,
No Kirk,
Captain has gone berserk

Shuttlecraft,
Counselor Troi,
Doctor Crusher's little boy

Klingon Rites,
Parasites,
New Heights,
Phaser Fights,
Data's Head,
Tasha's Dead,
Riker's Hangin' by a thread

Celebration,
Transformation,
Everyone to battle stations

We didn't start the series,
It's the Next Generation
on your favorite station

We didn't start the series,
But when we are gone it will
still be on and on and on...

We didn't start the series...

Believe it or not, I didn't even know about Billy Joel's song back then, I just thought it was an incredible commercial.

Start your (search) engines!

Posted by Long @ 04:30 PM EST [Link] [Karma: -1 (+/-)] [2 comments]

Thursday, December 13, 2007

So I've been trying to hire some people for the non-day job lately. I need to hire a bunch of people. We were in a crunch and needed 2, but ideally, I'd like 2 more, and in a few more months 2 more still. These are the stats of my recent recruitement drive.

4 Job postings
62 resumes
25 interview offers
5 ppl found jobs before they were interviewed
4 ppl never replied to their email
5 no shows
11 interviews
3 accepted job offer
2 declined job offer
2 quit after 1 day (citing distance from home to work)

The worst is the no-shows. What kind of person just doesn't show up for an interview without prior notice or at least some form of pre/post courtesy? These peoplare are a complete and utter waste of my time and are likely not someone I would want working for me anyways. So I guess they're doing me a favour by screening themselves out?

Posted by Long @ 11:21 PM EST [Link] [Karma: 15 (+/-)] [No Comments]

You know what I dont like? People who don't know how to use computers. I'm not talking abour your 90 year old grandmother who can't tell the difference between a keyboard and a sock puppet, or uncle Cletus who's never seen a mouse outside of his sister/cousin's. I mean people who work in an office and are at their computers at least 5 hours a day and still double click everything. Or the one guy who when I asked him to scroll sideways was at a loss and zoomed out on the screen instead. I mean, what?! These are very basic things! I dont expect everyone to be like Anderson who once remote desktop'd into my PC and did things I dont even have words for. But c'mon, they should at least know the shortcuts for copy and paste though, right?

Posted by Long @ 03:49 PM EST [Link] [Karma: -2 (+/-)] [2 comments]

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